Halloween

     Halloween is next Tuesday, a time when people can dress up as some thing they're not, kind of like running for political office. Political candidates, portrait themselves as something their not on political advertisements and go from door to door asking for treats, in their case votes and if you vote for them they promise not to trick you but when elected the costume comes off and the real politician is revealed. So even in politics, like halloween, what you see could be completly different from who they really are. Use your vote wisely.

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In the news, Brrr !!

      In the news, the administration at Rhode Island College announced a test program today sponsored Woman's and Infants hospital. The program is to test the theory that cold showers can be used as a form of birth control.

     A spokesperson for Woman's and Infants hospital stated that starting Monday, October 30th, Rhode Island College will have only cold water in the showers of half their dormitories .Brrrr !!. The test will last one semester followed by a nine month study to determine the number of pregnancies that occur compared to the dormitories with hot water in their showers. The results of the study will be announced this time next year. If sucessful, hot water could become a thing of the past in showers on college campuses across the country..

    In other news, the president signed a bill authorizing a fence to be built along our southern boarder. It's not clear weather it's to keep out illegal aliens or to keep texans from crossing the board to get cheep tequila   

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TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.

      I don't believe it, no more stay the course. Could it be George is feeling the pressure? One week before the mid term election and George announces a change  of direction in Iraq. TOO LITTLE TOO LATE, GEORGE.

     October has been the deadliest month of the year for our people in Iraq, 93 DEAD not to mention the price the Iraqi's are pay for a shot a democracy and now our military leaders say we need a change. They say we may need more troops and have to set bench marks,but what happens if these so called bench marks aren't met, nothing. That's right, more of the same.

    How stupid does the president think we are? Does he think we can see thru his attempt at damage control to save his control over both houses. I don't think we're that stupid, after all we do have brains and can see he's running scared and receiving ton of pressure from the Republican party. I hope that on November 8th he says to himself, Damn, they're smarter than I thought they were!! 

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Decisions, Decisions.

      Here it is Saturday morning, What to do? Should I hook up the gas stove that's been sitting out in my drive way for a month or replace the starter on my car that been out there for 2 weeks? Of coarse I could all ways go out and rake the leaves covering my lawn. What to do? What to do? So much to do, so little time. Maybe I should make a list but where's my pencil, then there's that paper problem. Maybe I'll just flip a coin but that means I gota get up and go in the other room to get a coin.

      Ok, lets take first things first, I'll gota get up and go in the other room to get dressed then I'll get a coin and flip to see what gets done. Should I flip the stove against the starter and the winner goes against the leaves or the leaves against the starter and the winner goes against the stove. Decisions, Decisions. Lets go get dressed that would be a good start.

      Oh no, here comes my wife, Yes dear, I'm going to hook up the stove. See, that was easy. Decision made. No list no flipping. I like it when a plan comes together.. 

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Who Knew What When? Takes a turn.

    Well in Washington's political game of Who Knew What When the Republicans have come up with a surprise move and have disclose that Mr Foley was abuse by a priest when he was 13 years old. Foley has gone from predator to victim, also he admits he has an alcohol problem,another good move. The media, who plays a big part in the game, has gone so far as to track down this poor old priest on a tiny island in the Mediterranean to interview him by phone. This move by the Republicans could limit the political damage.

    The Repubican have now put the ball in the Democrats court.Will they go on with the attack or change their game plan? Stay tuned. The November election is just around the corner. 

      

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In the news, sleepless night.

      In the news, The house last week revised the Surveillance Act to make it legal to put Surveillance camera's in the bathrooms and bed rooms of suspected terrorist, most of whom work at Hooters restaurants. According to our reliable source, President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld spend hours studying the tapes late at night after Laura goes to bed. 

      When asked about the tapes Mr Rumsfeld stated that he and the President have had many sleepless nights fighting the war on terror and they are willing to do whatever it takes to protect our country from terrorist. It's a tough job but someone has to do it.    .

       In other news,The President of North Korea announce that he is willing to end its nuclear testing program if President Bush would kiss his butt at the United Nation at noon on Thanksgiving Day while Donald Rumsfeld blows in his ear. Donald Rumsfeld stated that he is not blowing in any ones ear, even if it would end of North Korea's Nuclear program, all though he stated that he thinks the North Korean president is a very handsome man and under other circumstances it could be arranged.

      The President could not be reached for comment. 

   

 

  There , I fixed all my mistakes.

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In the news, sleepless night.

      In the news, The house last week revised the Surveillance Act to make it legal to put Surveillance camera's in the bathrooms and bed rooms of suspected terrorist, most of whom work at Hooters restaurants. According to our reliable source, President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld spend hours studying the tapes late at night after Laura goes to bed. 

      When asked about the tapes Mr Rumsfeld stated that he and the President have lost many sleepless fighting the war on terror and they are willing to do whatever it takes to protect our country from terrorist. It's a tough job but someone has to do it.    .

       In other news,The President of North Korea announce that he is willing to end its nuclear testing program if President Bush would kiss his butt at the United Nation at noon on Thanksgiving Day while Donald Rumsfeld blows in his ear. Donald Rumsfeld stated that he is no blowing in any ones ear, even if it the end of North Korea's Nuclear program, all though he stated that he thinks the North Korean president is a very handsome man and under other circumstances it could be arranged.

      The President could not be reached for comment. 

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TRAFIC JAM.

     While sitting in a trafic jam on Cape Cod, what else do you do on the Cape?, I couldn't believe no one was blowing their horn. Nothing but the sound of idleing engines and crappy music on the radio. Move 10 feet and stop, move 10 feet and stop, Not one horn could be heard. Damn, that's unamerican. Are these the same people who drive two inches from my rear bumper? Where's the guy who cut me off to beat me to the red light. Are these the same people or are there people who's job it is to drive the roads of America and endanger the lives of everyone around them.

    I guess it's a good thing my horn don't work.cause I know I could have gotten things going. Oh yea, It would have been the horn heard around the cape. When there's nothing else to do MAKE NOISE. Let um know your not happy. Could you imagine 5,000 cars all blowing their horn. Look at all the pent up frustrations that could have been released.Every one would have felt better and drove home relaxed. Damn, I gota get that horn fixed.

       Maybe that what we need to get our representives in Washington to pay attention. We could have a national horn blowing day to show the politicians how we feel and everyone stop their cars at noon and blow their horn for one minute to show them we're not happy. They may not pay attention but at least it would make you feel better..   

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I WONDER

        I WONDER, what do Skunk farts smell like? Do they really smell bad?Compared to what elephant farts, chicken farts, Aunt Martha's farts? Nothing could be that bad.

      

      What's the last thing a bug says just before he hits the windshield? Oh sh##, holy crap where did he come from? Damn, that guys ugly, What's he laughing at? She'll be sorry when I'm gone. 

      

     How does a bird learn to poop on a windshield from 100 feet up? How does he aim that thing? Does he pick out my windshield just to piss me off or does he even care who's windshield he hit?Do some birds just poop on red cars while others prefer blue?

 

     What do fish drink when they get thirsty? Gator Aide? Parana Cola? While I'm on fish, Do Flounders really flounder around or do they know where they are going?

 

     What's a dog thinking when he sniffs a butt? Hum, he had Gravy Train for dinner,  I think I'm in love, I hope he don't fart, Nice butt.

 

     If a duck could fly up side down, would he really quack up?

 

   Oh, I have too much time on my hands Where do all these crazy questions come from? Does anyone really have the answers? They must be crazier than me.     

     

 

     

  

 

  

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In the news, REALLY

      Did I hear it right, twenty million dollars was put into the budget for a victory celebration for the war in Iraq?$20,000,000, I can't wait for that shin dig. I wonder if they reserved a hall, maybe they'll just have it at the White House and invite George. He won't be living there but maybe he can fly in from Crawford.

     What if it's not a victory celebration? I guess we can use it to welcome the troops home. Maybe we could take the twenty million and divide it up among all the people who fought over there. That would be a nice gesture. No by the time they took the taxes out they'd end up with about a buck an a half, lets go with the party but Donald's not invited.

     What else did I hear today? I didn't go to work today so I didn't get to read the paper, yea, that stuff you heard about state workers, it's true. Well not all of them, it's people like me that gives them a bad name, but someones gota do it.

     Oh yea, some scientist discovered that the African Malaria Mosquito is attracted to Limburger Cheese. No kidding. They discovered that the mosquito usually bit the fret and ankles of the people and they found that what ever was in Limburger attracted the mosquito the same way. It doesn't say much for the way their feet smell.  

     

 

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RE: WHO'S COUNTING

Greetings,

 

My name is John Handell and I am the Head of the Federally Legislated United States Hierarchical Evaluation Representatives.  The function of FLUSHER is to intelligently suppress the possibility of our government being over run by an unbalanced influx of TERDs, Tyrannical Executive Republican Dictators.  As the Head of FLUSHER, it is my Duty to dispose of all TERDs and their STREAKs, Secondary Tyrannical Republican Excuse Administering Kaisers.

 

I am sending you this important paper in order to prepare you for the up coming WIPE, Warranted Intervention Public Expo.  During this expo we will be discussing proper expulsion of TERDs from our governmental body.  In addition we will be hearing our guest; Armand Hamner's speech entitled PET ODR, Post Evacuation Techniques & Organized Disaster Recovery.  For a full addendum please visit http://www.wipe.it/more.

 

Thank you for your time in this matter and I hope this makes things a bit lighter for you.

 

Yours Truly,

John Handell

Head

FLUSHER

 

 

 

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From: Robert Davis [mailto:papa_d54@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 7:47 PM
To: Becky; BRAD; Carol; cathryn davis; Chris J Davis; Jennifer R Davis; Joann K Davis; Robert Davis Jr.; Elanor Deluca; Darcy Edwards; ERICA; Tony Fazio; Ryan T. Graff; Jill L; Marie Jobling; LEO; MIKE DAVIS; John Moore Sr.; Brad T O'Brien; Donna Black Peras; SHANE; Shawn
Subject: WHO'S COUNTING

      Do you realize we lost four people today and eight people yesterday in Iraq? We've lost twenty one this month, not to mention the people we've lost in Afghanistan but who counting? Do you know we've lost more female soldiers in Iraq than we did in Vietnam but who's counting? The other day we buried female who graduated from West Point but who's counting? How many thousands of our soldiers have been wounded, lost arms, legs and sight but who's counting? I can tell you who's counting, our soldiers are counting and praying they don't become one of the dreaded numbers.

     .Can you imagine being in Iraq and counting the days till it's your time to go home only to be told you tour has been extended? How about being told your going back   for you 2nd or 3rd tour in Iraq after making it out safe from your last tour. How about getting your discharge and after your back in your civilian life being told your being called up from the ready reserve to do another tour in Iraq.

       What are we doing to our military? These are people who volunteered to serve and protect our country. No one deserves to be sent into combat for two or three tours. I am a Vietnam vet, who didn't see much action but I did a one year tour, and believe me a year is a long time when your away from your family and friends, being in a combat zone makes it even longer. It must seem like an eternity if it's your 2nd or 3rd tour. I can imagine what it does phycologically to our soldiers.

      There's one question that no one can answer now. What damage have we done to our military of the future, after Iraq and George Bush. Who in their right mind will join the military? What will happen when enlistments are up? Will we need to bring back the draft? Don't be surprised. I wouldn't want to be of draft age when this mess is over.

      

         

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IN THE NEW, LET THE GAMES BEGIN

     You had to know this was coming. I mean a Republican Representative from Florida, That's Jeb country isn't it, sending suggestive E mails to young boys. Come on, who could resist. Not me. I know, but it would be so easy to bust on these righteous holier than thou politicians. Imagine to my surprise to find out that they can have alcoholics and perverts amongst them just like us little people.

     In the news, in Washington our Congress has taken a long deserved break from the war on terror to play their favorite political game of congress know as Who Knew What and When. This game is usually played close to the November election. First, a deep dark secret is leaked about one of the congressmen Rep. Foley was chosen this year for his stupidity, writing E mails to young boy and thinking they wouldn't go public with them, The person who put the leaker up to the dirty dead must be kept secret, this is very important. Next, the dirty deed is leaked to the media, known as the sh## stirrers,  goes into a frenzy like sharks on a dead whale. Now comes the fun, the other party, the Democrats in this case start pointing fingers and accuse the other party, the republicans, of a cover up. The Republicans immediately deny any knowledge of the deep dark secret and have their spokesperson, House Speaker Hastert, promise an investigation. The media, who play a big role in this game, now reports that Hastert was told about the E mails two years ago and did nothing and now the Democrats say he should step down from his prestigious position, of course he immediately refuses.As if this isn't fun enough, Congressional aides resign, and the president condemn the deep dark secret. and here is the best part of all we get to see it all unfold on every TV channel at 12pm, 6pm and 11pm every day till the November election, ah, something to look forward to. I'm not to sure how the scoring is done but right now I think the Democrats are winning.   

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WHO'S COUNTING

      Do you realize we lost four people today and eight people yesterday in Iraq? We've lost twenty one this month, not to mention the people we've lost in Afghanistan but who counting? Do you know we've lost more female soldiers in Iraq than we did in Vietnam but who's counting? The other day we buried female who graduated from West Point but who's counting? How many thousands of our soldiers have been wounded, lost arms, legs and sight but who's counting? I can tell you who's counting, our soldiers are counting and praying they don't become one of the dreaded numbers.

     .Can you imagine being in Iraq and counting the days till it's your time to go home only to be told you tour has been extended? How about being told your going back   for you 2nd or 3rd tour in Iraq after making it out safe from your last tour. How about getting your discharge and after your back in your civilian life being told your being called up from the ready reserve to do another tour in Iraq.

       What are we doing to our military? These are people who volunteered to serve and protect our country. No one deserves to be sent into combat for two or three tours. I am a Vietnam vet, who didn't see much action but I did a one year tour, and believe me a year is a long time when your away from your family and friends, being in a combat zone makes it even longer. It must seem like an eternity if it's your 2nd or 3rd tour. I can imagine what it does phycologically to our soldiers.

      There's one question that no one can answer now. What damage have we done to our military of the future, after Iraq and George Bush. Who in their right mind will join the military? What will happen when enlistments are up? Will we need to bring back the draft? Don't be surprised. I wouldn't want to be of draft age when this mess is over.

      

         

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Looking back.

      Well it's Sunday morning, Oct 1st 2006, The weekends almost over, Damn where does the time go. I wonder if there's a bank some where that time is deposited in and when it's your time to go you can relive all the good times you had during your life, of course if you go the other way you can go Thu eternity reliving the bad times. You know that would make a good movie.

      There's a lot of good times I'd like to relive, family vacations, high school, most of my time in the navy, what I can remember of it, My marriage and kids, All in all I can say there not too much I wouldn't want to relive, of coarse there was that one National Guard summer camp at Fort Devens. I guess I've been pretty lucky so far. I survived Vietnam and By Pass surgery and a few hang overs in Subic Bay in the Philippines, that I thought were going to kill me but here I am. w Who'd of believed I'd live this long. Not me.You know when your in you twenties you think forty is old but when your in thirties,forty don't seem that old after all . Age is all in you head. I think the same way now as I did when I was young, all though some of the music and the way kids dress today drives me crazy some times. Maybe that's a sign of old age. I'm sure my father and mother thought the same way while I was in my teens.

      Maybe someday one of my kids will be sitting at a computer writing the same thing because some day they'll be in my shoes. Like the old saying says, What goes around comes around. Someday their kids music and the way they dress will drive them crazy and I hope they be able to say, you know there's not too much of my life that I wouldn't want to relive.You know, I've been pretty lucky so far.

           

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