Santa confusion

        IN THE NEWS, It has been reported that Santa was seen circling over Smith field last night around midnight. Observers stated that he seemed confused but after circling for an hour landed some where near the Senior center.
        When asked what the problem was Santa replied that when he got to his next stop, a Mrs Joann Davis, he checked his list and noticed an X with the word Pope next to her name and had to check with the Vatican before delivering  any presents.
        Santa stated that the problem  came from an incident at Fatima Hospital where Mrs Davis used the S word in front of a nun and had to be reprimanded but after checking with the Pope was given permission to deliver her gifts.This confusion  put Santa behind in his deliveries which meant that some children had to be sent back to bed so Santa could make his deliveries.  All in all  thing turned out  good and everyone had a  Merry Christmas,  Even Mrs  Davis who got a small lump of coal along with he presents to remind her to watch her language, especially in front of nuns.

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Mission accomplished.

        Well here it is Christmas Eve, I have to out this after noon to brave the crowds to get my wife's present. I know I cut it a little too close this year but I tried I just couldn't find that special present.
       I started out going to the bank for some money but the ATM was out of money. OK, not a great start so I'll go to Stop and Shop get the food for tomorrows dinner and get the money there. Hey, here's a spot right up front, great. Zip right in and step out into a big puddle. Damn. Things have got to get better. After shaking the water off my feet I get into the store and there's hundreds of people pushing carriages  up and down the Isles of course there's always the people who stop and leave their carriage blocking the whole isle, They're probably the same ones that caused all the problems on the highway during that snow storm, I'll have to remember to put them on my mothers day list.
        Finally I get what I need and pay, amazing the lines weren't too bad and get my cash from the ATM. Lets head to the mall.
       Holy Crap is all this traffic for the mall?  I know, I need gas anyways so I'll just go to the station across from the mall and then just shoot straight across at the light and miss the big line of traffic.Hey the price went down two cent. Boy Joann is lucky with the money I save I can get her something real nice.Things are looking up.
      Lets see Lane Bryant should have some thing nice and they'll have her size, what ever that is.I got a pretty good idea anyways. AH, I finally made it so  I'll just look around,  maybe a night gown,  NA. Look at the size of those Bra's Damn. I better get out of this dept before I get into trouble. There's what I'm looking for and it's fifty percent off, GREAT. let see, Ya, and I think this one's the right size. See I told you things would get better and if you wait till Christmas Eve you get half off.
       Now all I have to do is get home. OH, no they have cops directing traffic and it's all backed up. I know, I'll just cut across and go by Home Depot and down that side and get passed most of the traffic. That'll work. Only by the time I get there the cops holding my side up  and letting  all the other traffic go.  That'll  teach me.  OH well, at least my shoppings done and there's Christmas music on the radio. That's enough of that, not Holly Jolly Christmas again. Great we're moving next stop home. Thanks for coming along. Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS.

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The game they play

         Here comes Santa Clause. Right about now the elves should be finishing up those last minute requests and Santa  is topping off  his reindeer with magic corn. Down here people are heading to the mall to pick up those special thing that even Santa can't get, you know the things that the big manufactures make every year but only ship just enough so people have to stand in line for hours in hopes of getting one. Every year it happens, Remember the Cabbage Patch Dolls, I Pod. Tickle Me Elmo? This year it's W II, what ever the hell that is.
        When will people learn? This whole thing is just a game they play and while your standing in line, out in the freezing cold with a bunch of strangers who will be pushing and shoving you as soon as the doors open the rich bastards, who caused this, are partying in their million dollar house drinking champagne , laughing and saying,  I can't believe they fall for this every year. How stupid can they be.Boy they really made my Christmas merry.I'm getting a new Vette with my bonus money, HA HA!!!!!
      If you want to know who they are, they're the people you see laughing all the way to the bank. No kidding. Next time your out treating yourself to dinner at Micky D's and you see a limo check the guy in the back seat. If he's laughing you can bet he's going to the bank.
     Well if your planning to go stand in line tomorrow dress warm bring a thermos of Christmas cheer cause even if you dint get one of those WII thing, what ever they are you can at least get Bombed. OH, don't drink and drive unless you too drunk to walk then have some one pick you up and stop by the bank on the way to Micky D's, nothing sobers you up like a Big Mack with cheese, and if you see someone laughing , flip him the bird and tell him #@@ YOU and MERRY CHRISTMAS.
       
     
       

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The game they play

         Here comes Santa Clause. Right about now the elves should be finishing up those last minute requests and Santa  is topping off  his reindeer with magic corn. Down here people are heading to the mall to pick up those special thing that even Santa can't get, you know the things that the big manufactures make every year but only ship just enough so people have to stand in line for hours in hopes of getting one. Every year it happens, Remember the Cabbage Patch Dolls, I Pod. Tickle Me Elmo? This year it's W II, what ever the hell that is.
        When will people learn? This whole thing is just a game they play and while your standing in line, out in the freezing cold with a bunch of strangers who will be pushing and shoving you as soon as the doors open the rich bastards, who caused this, are partying in their million dollar house drinking champagne , laughing and saying,  I can't believe they fall for this every year. How stupid can they be.Boy they really made my Christmas merry.I'm getting a new Vette with my bonus money, HA HA!!!!!
      If you want to know who they are, they're the people you see laughing all the way to the bank. No kidding. Next time your out treating yourself to dinner at Micky D's and you see a limo check the guy in the back seat. If he's laughing you can bet he's going to the bank.
     Well if your planning to go stand in line tomorrow dress warm bring a thermos of Christmas cheer cause even if you dint get one of those WII thing, what ever they are you can at least get Bombed. OH, don't drink and drive unless you too drunk to walk then have some one pick you up and stop by the bank on the way to Micky D's, nothing sobers you up like a Big Mack with cheese, and if you see someone laughing , flip him the bird and tell him #@@ YOU and MERRY CHRISTMAS.
       
     
       

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The game they play

         Here comes Santa Clause. Right about now the elves should be finishing up those last minute requests and Santa  is topping off  his reindeer with magic corn. Down here people are heading to the mall to pick up those special thing that even Santa can't get, you know the things that the big manufactures make every year but only ship just enough so people have to stand in line for hours in hopes of getting one. Every year it happens, Remember the Cabbage Patch Dolls, I Pod. Tickle Me Elmo? This year it's W II, what ever the hell that is.
        When will people learn? This whole thing is just a game they play and while your standing in line, out in the freezing cold with a bunch of strangers who will be pushing and shoving you as soon as the doors open the rich bastards, who caused this, are partying in their million dollar house drinking champagne , laughing and saying,  I can't believe they fall for this every year. How stupid can they be.Boy they really made my Christmas merry.I'm getting a new Vette with my bonus money, HA HA!!!!!
      If you want to know who they are they're the people you see laughing all the way to the bank. No kidding. Next time your out treating yourself to dinner at Micky D's and you see a limo check the guy in the back seat. If he's laughing you can bet he's going to the bank.
     Well if your planning to go stand in line tomorrow dress warm bring a thermos of Christmas cheer cause even if you dint get one of those WII thing, what ever they are you can at least get Bombed. OH, don't drink and drive unless you too drunk to walk then have some one pick you up and stop by the bank and if you see someone laughing , flip him the bird and tell him #@@ YOU and MERRY CHRISTMAS.
       
     
       

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Stop pointing fingers

      OK, I've about had my fill of who was responsible for the disaster on Dec 13th when we were hit with a snow storm and people were stuck in traffic. The fact is that there are just too many cars on the road today and when they all leave work at the same time you get grid lock no matter what the weather's doing.
      I have a suggestion, why don't people invest some money in SNOW TIRES. They made to work on snow. The tires they put on cars today called All Weather tires which are made to work in all weather but not very well in snow.
      Another thing that would help is to be courteous and obey the traffic lights, don't block intersections, once the traffic stops there you are, grid locked.
     Why not look at the bright side nobody died. Everyone made it home. even the children on the school buses, by the way I think the state or at least the city of providence should show their gratitude's to these school bus drivers with some kind of ceremony. They did a great job keeping your kids safe and warm.

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MY ANNUAL TRIP TO THE MALL.

      Well today I made my annual trip to the mall. This year I went early after dropping my honey off at work, just doing my part. Anyways I got to Emerald Square Mall around 9:30 and headed right for the food court, hell I can't do this on an empty stomach. Yep, I go right to Burger King and get one of those breakfast sandwiches, the cholesterol special with coffee and those round things that are suppose to be potatoes, I think. Yummy!!!
      While eating my breakfast I notice that this must be race day for senior citizens because there's bunches of them doing laps. They're all wearing those shoes with those Velcro Straps. At another table they're playing cards, I'm leaving before I find out its strip poker.
     OK, lets get going. Lets see, they're all going counter clockwise so I'll go clockwise, just to be different.Here we go. Excuse me, Pardon me, maybe I better go the other way. NA, this way I can see their smiling faces. Not too many are smiling though.
   OH well I'll just cruise for a while and see if anything interests me because as usual I have no clue what I'm looking for. Why don't these department stores put up some direction? I mean there's 3 floors full of stuff how am I suppose to find ladies clothes, plus sizes. Give me a break, and why do they hide it over behind the lingerie, underwear. I think they do that on purpose so they can watch us guys  trying to look cool going thru  the underwear dept. I remember taking one of my boys, he was about 10 years old, shopping  and  going  into the  ladies dept  and holding up a pair of panties and saying out loud,  DO YOU THINK THESE WILL FIT HER?. You'd be surprise  how  red he got. Aways I've look through about every store here and can't find anything. I think it's time to leave anyway, there's all ways tomorrow. I still have four more days. Plenty of time, Right? Stay tuned for my next trip. I'll let you know how I make out. Hell I'm one of the original last minute shoppers. Who me worry?  

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MOVIN SNOW.

       Well I just got up and looked out the window and guess what, it's snowing but it's suppose to turn to rain. CRAP!!!! There's about six inches of new snow and the wind is picking, I'm not looking forward to this but what the hell, what was I going to do today anyways. We'd probably just go out and spend money shopping.
       So  now the question  to  shovel or not to shovel,  that is the question.  Is it better  to remove the snow  or  wait to see  what Mother nature does. You know when it get wet I'll never move it and then tonight it's going to freeze so my question has been answered. Now I just have to get myself moving, COME ON OLD MAN, GET OFF YOUR BUTT.
        Well I'm back, not too bad. Only a couple of hours. Lucky I got it before it started raining but  but the plow still has to come by.so all  I have to do is relax till it comes.
         I must be getting old. When I worked at the college  we'd  shovel  all night  and work the next day. AH,  the  good old days. Did I ever tell you about the time we woke up a whole dorm full of kid at 2am. Yea, It seems they didn't appreciate the job we did while they were tucked away in their beds during the prior snow storm so we had to remind them that the snow doesn't just magical disappear from the stairs and side walks. I think they got the message.No more complaints.

        Damn, it's about 2  o clock and the plow just came by so I guess my break is over. This is going to be nasty it's been raining for a while and that stuff must weigh a ton. Oh well I'll just take my time.

        That's it I quit. It's about 4 o clock. I'm glad I went out early this morning before it rained. Boy that stuff bot heavy but that's it. I'm DONE. At last till the next storm.   

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In the news, Santa's big news.

      In the news, trouble at the north pole, Santa at a news conference today announced that he will be moving his whole operation from the north pole to China. He stated that with the high labor and energy cost it will be much more cost effective to have the Chinese make his products and he will be able to deliver them much quicker if he leaves from China because he won't have to deal with the harsh winter storms at the north pole.
      A spokesperson for the International Brotherhood of Toy Makers Union stated that they are working with Santa to find a solution to his problem and stated that the elves may be willing to take a pay cut if it mean that they can save their jobs. The spokesperson also stated that they are negotiating with Hasbro toy makes to offer them the elves toy making skills.

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