In the news

           In the news, Groton, the producers of frozen fish products has announced that a product coming to store shelves this summer.. According to their spokes person they will introduce a Oysters stuffed with a mixture of flavored bread crumbs and Viagra and will be called  Stiffy's. The spokesperson stated that they were tested at restaurants around new England and patrons have given them out standing grades and things are looking up for the company who sales have fallen due to the high cost of fish.

            

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In the news

           In the news, Groton, the producers of frozen fish products has announced that a product coming to store shelves this summer.. According to their spokes person they will introduce a Oysters stuffed with a mixture of flavored bread crumbs and Viagra and will be called  Stiffy's. The spokesperson stated that they were tested at restaurants around new England and patrons have given them out standing grades and things are looking up for the company who sales have fallen due to the high cost of fish.

            

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i can't take it and the Popes' decision

        Well I've about had it with all the news coverage on the Virginia tech shooting. Give me a break. Yea it was a real tragedy, horrifying but the news coverage has gone too far. If I was a nut case about ready to snap the coverage this week would put me over the edge, SNAP!!. Can you imagine being a parent of one of these students, it's not bad enough loosing your child but you have to hear it on every TV, Radio station and news paper you pick up is cruel and unusual punishment. Enough is enough, some times enough is too much.

      I know religion is a sacred subject but I see the pope has decided that a baby that dies before being baptized may not spend time in Limbo after all. I guess that goes the way of not eating meat on Friday and saying mass in Latin. Me, I believe in God but all this other stuff that organize religion puts out is not for me. You know if your good you go to heaven but if you were good most of the time but did some bad stuff you got to spend time in Purgatory, kind of like minimum security and if you were real bad you go to hell, probably the only time you'll get to tell George Bush face to face what you really think of him, get there early there's probably going to be a big line. Now don't get all excited I'm talking for me and no one else. Everyone has the right to believe what they want. but you got to admit that some of the stuff that some religions put out is kind of nuts. Look at the Jews and circumcision, what's that all about? How about some Muslims, not all, if you strap a bomb to yourself  and blow yourself and some Innocent people up, you go to heaven and get seven virgins, hell, it would take a lot more than seven virgins to get me to do that, I think they better throw in a couple of hookers too. What I'd like to know is where are all these virgins are coming from, no wonder we have a shortage down here. I better end here before I get in real trouble, I already got the Catholic, Jews and Moslem's mad at me, not to mention the big guy himself, GOD Sorry God, just kidding. I know you like a good joke, you put Bush in the White House. 

        

 

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Tough week to find something funny.

          Well I'm sitting here wondering what to write about and my mind is blank. Yea, I know, what else is new but after a week of news on the senseless killings, in Virginia and Iraq it's hard to find something funny to write about. I guess the funniest thing was the hearing with our illustrious Attorney General. I got to admit it, he fits right in with the Bush gang. During the hearing he said I don't recall 47 time and of course if you don't recall you can't testify about it and you can tell he's a  lawyer cause he can talk about something and when he's done you know less about the subject than when he started, kind of like me and my wife watching the TV when I got the remote. She told me one night, congratulations, you just watched TV for 2 hours and didn't see anything, kind of like listening to Alberto. 

          Lets see, like I said this was a tough week, how about commercials about toilet paper, or should I say bathroom tissue? What's wrong with the word toilet? We all use them and why do they perforate the paper every 4 inches? Who the hell is going to use one square? In the Army they show you how to use one square, it has something to do with tearing a hole in the middle of the square and sticking your finger thru the hole and using you finger to wipe your butt and wiping your finger with the paper  but I never tried it so I don't know how it works, by the way, the little piece you tore out of the middle, that's to clean under your finger nail. That's bad, I better end here before I get in trouble. I feel much better now that I found something to laugh about.

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HAPPY EASTER

        Today is Easter Sunday, Oh yea, when my kids were small I would hide candy around our living room and the kids would wake up and go searching, I had some good hiding places, behind a book on the shelf, between the cushions on the couch. Some of my places were so good even I couldn't find them but they would usually turn up around August. Hey dad look what I found a peanut butter egg.

       After all the candy was found, well most of it, it was off to J&D's restaurant for breakfast and a visit to the Easter Bunny. As they got older a picture with the Bunny took some doing but bribery usually worked, then it was off to Nana's house for the family egg hunt where we'd join  brother and his family and all the kids would hunt for candy that my mother would hide in her yard. One year an animal found it before the kids did and opened the plastic eggs and took the candy.

       Some how the holidays have change, people are more worried about what to call holiday icon's, Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny than the idea behind the holiday  Our public school can't even put up decorations because it might offend some student who doesn't believe in Christmas and Easter. Even Halloween is off limits but what are these holidays all about? Today they are not so much about religion but more about families coming together to enjoy family traditions. Isn't that is what we need in our country today? In this time of high technology with video games,computers and both parents working we need holidays like Christmas and Easter to bring families together.Christmas or holiday season, Easter Bunny or Peter Rabbit who cares, it's the thought behind the holiday that counts after all.  Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny says, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!    

 

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In the news

         In the news, Word around Bunny Land is that the Easter Bunny, Peter Rabbit, is very upset at the controversy over what he should be called. According to the mayor of Bunny Land his honorable Jack Rabbit, Peter stated, I can't believe these people, I  pay for the eggs out of my own pocket ,deliver these damn things free of charge and they fight over my damn name. That's it next year no eggs. I'm going to Disney World for Easter to hang out with Mickey and Goofy.

       In other news, According to a reliable source, a child was injured at the annual Egg hunt at the White House when President Bush pushed the unnamed girl who was about to pick up an egg that the president claimed was his. Our source stated that he over heard the president complaining that the girl deserved it because she was finding all the eggs and he only found two and that she won't be invited next year. Later Laura Bush apologized for her husband and said his problem goes back to his childhood when he had to compete with Jeb for his father's attention.  

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Hold on my fellow state workers.

        Hold on my fellow state workers, the state legislature and the governor are about to attack. It seems our we are over paid and our benefits are too good and we're putting the state into debt. I just heard on the news the average state worker cost $90,000. I don't know what state they were talking about because the state workers I know don't make half of that even if you throw in the benefits. You know what that means, there's a lot more highly paid workers than there are people like us on the bottom.

      The governor has a good idea, privatize the dietary and house keeping at Zamborano and the Veterans Home. Good idea but instead of picking on the lower paid employees why not eliminate some administrators, one highly paid administrator equals two lower paid workers and you still have workers to do the real work. Does anyone remember what happened when the school lunch program was privatized, it cost twice as much.

     Lets look at the real problem. Last election the voters approved almost two hundred million dollars in bond issues and it's not just this last election it in almost every election. Some one should tell these voters that bonds have to be paid for, with interest, even bonds with federal matching funds believe it or not and we all know who pays for them, don't we? Even us state workers pay for them, we do pay taxes you know. 

     If the state is in that much trouble why not just raise taxes and let everyone share the burden after all it's everyone problem, we all voted for the people in our legislature who pushed thru all these programs that put us in this situation.

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Ever wonder.

         Ever wonder why the Easter Bunny brings eggs? Who thought up the idea of a bunny bringing eggs? Probably some chicken farmers sitting around at the United Poultry Farmers of America convention bitching that egg sales were down and some one from in back of the room with a few Gin and Tonics under his belt said, I know we'll tell all the kids that and Easter Bunny is going to hide colored egg in their yards. Hell if they believe some fat guy in a red suite riding in a slay pulled by flying reindeer's brings toy at Christmas they'll believe a rabbit can bring eggs on Easter  You know the kids will be all excited and the parents will have to run out the night before Easter to buy dozens of eggs and spend all night boiling, coloring and hiding the damn things so the kids won't be disappointed Easter morning. 

       Then of course the Candy people saw how good the egg farmers were doing so they decided to make eggs out of chocolate and hell why not push plastic egg that you can put Jelly Beans inside of.

       Don't ask me how the pig farmers got got into it but everyone has to have a ham for Easter Dinner. Now throw in flowers, greeting cards, stuffed animals, and all the other holiday stuff and everyone makes money and it all started with the poultry farmer in the back of the room who was working on his 10th Gin and Tonic. Kind of gives creditability to the therory that  getting bombed on Gin and Tonic makes your brain work to solve big problems.I wonder, is it the Gin or the Tonic that makes it work?     

       

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      IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!! VIOLA HAS ARIVED. 6LBS 5OZ. MOM AND DAUGHTER ARE OK.

                                              PA PA D

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