2007 ???

        When does the new year actually begin and the old year end. Actually at  exactly 12 midnight. I wonder what would happen if we decided not to go into the new year and stay into 2006. Would we relive the old year over and get a chance to get things right the second time around or would we make the same mistakes all over again.

      I'm sure there's a lot of things that everyone would like to do over like the time I, no, he deserved to get the finger. How about the time, no he deserved to get the finger too. May be I should just put a bumper sticker on my car, IF YOU DRIVE LIKE AN A---HOLE, YOU'VE JUST BEEN FLIPPED OFF. that would save a lot of time and  everyone would know  if they've been flipped of or not, of coarse the real A---HOLES don't think they are doing any thing wrong but everyone around them would know who's been flipped off.

     Maybe we don't get the choice of not going into the new year or not for a reason. If we did, everyone would be in different years cause everyone has a special time in their lives that they wish would never end. Like when your kids were small and a lot of fun or that first year of marriage when the sex was great, not that it's not great now  but there was just more of it that first year. How about when you got your first drivers license and you got to drive your mom's car, a pink and white 1952 Chevy. Oh yea, great car. I had a lot of great times in that car.

     I guess the reason we don't get the choice is that we should learn from our mistakes and ever year should be better than the year before. Like I said we should learn from our mistakes. What if god is up there and he's waiting for us to get it right before, you know ----. I hope he's not saying, OK, I'll give you one more chance, then your outa there. I promise I' ll do better this year, OK God.  

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Next stop New Years.

       Well Christmas is just about over, all the presents have been opened and the Christmas dinner has become left overs. By now the kids have found out that the toys they just had to have are really boring and not fun at all, nothing like the commercials on TV.   Radio stations have begun putting the Christmas the music away for another year because god forbid they should play Christmas music in March or June, it could cause a shopping frenzy and mess things up for the whole year. Once in march of 1963 a radio station in Iowa accidentally play Jingle Bells and the General Store was swamped with requests for Fruit Cakes.

      By now Santa is just about over the sugar high he got from all the coco and cookies left for him by all the little kiddies thinking he will leave more present if the bribe him, they would probably do better if the left him a shot and a beer. I know dad would like it more.

      Anyway next stop New Years, actually New Years Eve because New Years Day is spent by many sleeping off New Years Eve. Then of coarse are the good old New Years Resolutions, no more beer, I'm going on a diet to loose 20 pounds, no more swearing God damn it. Why not make some that are realistic.like I'm cutting back to 2 six packs a week, I'm going on a diet and if I loose weight, good for me. Forget the swearing thing, it's not going to happen but try to cut out the big ones like the F word, the S word, the Q word, I don't know that one either. I just thought I'd throw it in  to get your mind off food and beer.

      I guess I'll end here and check the frig to see if there is a  cold damn beer and a piece of lasagna. Hey I got about a week before I make any resolution, I might as well enjoy it.

      MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEARS

 

       

 

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In the news.

    In the news, At a news conference today President Bush announced that he has asked Santa to head up his surveillance program. The president stated that Santa is the most qualified candidate because he's been doing it for hundreds of year. Just listen to the song, Santa Claus is Coming to Town. He sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake, he knows if you've been bad or good. He's the perfect guy for the job.

   When the North Pole was contacted they had confirmed that Santa had been asked but said he has not made a decision as of yet but he will make an announcement after the holidays.

    In other news, the Christmas Tree Shop has announced the they will be adding an Adult Video theaters to their stores to draw husbands of female shoppers to their stores. A spokesperson for the Christmas Tree Shop stated that they've had a lot of complaints from wives stating that their husbands don't want to take them to the store because there is absolutely nothing of interest to them in the stores.

     According to the spokesperson for the store the addition of the theater was a great success when tested in Iowa. Mrs Berta Schmaltz, a customer at the store stated that since the theater was installed she can't keep her husband home. He even sneaks there on his lunch hour. She stated that she gets to shop as long as she wants and the sex is great when they get home, in fact on more than on occasion  they've even had sex right there in the parking lot out side of the store. 

    The spokesperson for the store stated that all the store should have theaters installed by the summer when business is slow. 

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Who me ,worried

      Hey, ya know what? Christmas eve is only 14 days away. It's almost panic time. I know some of you armatures probably have all your shopping done but us hard core last minute shoppers haven't even begun, in fact I have no idea what to get my wife. Sounds scary but I got every thing under control. I figure next week I'll take a day off from work, Don't tell my boss, and hit the malls.

     There's some thing about shopping under pressure.You know the closer you get to Christmas the crazier the gifts get, like the year you got the coffee mug with the words on the bottom inside the cup, IF YOU CAN READ THESE WORDS YOU OUT OF COFFEE. Yea, probably bought at the Dollar Store on Christmas Eve, just before the store closed. Another good gift is the good old stand by The metal can of Butter cookies. Everyone grabs at least a dozen cans for those surprise visitors, the people you see only twice a year at either wedding or a funeral and Christmas Eve. Hey, what the hell who don't like cookies? If all else fails there's the gift certificates to MC Donald's or Dunkin Donuts. 

     Last minute shopping is not for everyone. I like watching the other shoppers. You can tell the true last minute shoppers from the people who has their shopping done but forgot a gift for Uncle Louie. The last minute shoppers are cool and calm while the armatures are running aimlessly around looking for that size 4x sweat shirt with the words WIDE LOAD on the back.

      If you think you have what it takes put off your shopping till next week and go to the malls and watch and lean how us last minute shoppers do it. See you there. I'll be the guy wearing the, WHO ME, WORRIED? sweat shirt.  

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The good old days

    Well Christmas is just around the corner and mother nature is doing her part with cold temperatures and even snow, the amount depends on what part of the country you live in.Last Saturday night my wife and I went to Slater Park in Pawtucket where I spent many hours growing up in the good old days. I can remember ice skating on cold winter nights, when the ice was safe on the duck pond. The city would open up the boat house and light a nice warm fire in the fire place and they would shine big spot lights out on the ice and play music. It was a magic time for kid playing hockey, couples skating around holding hand and whole families spending special time together and you know they must have put something special in the hot chocolate purchased at the boat house because it tasted extra special. 

    Other memories stand out too, like when it snowed my father would load my friends and I in his truck, sleds and all and take us to Country Side Golf Course, where they had a perfect hill for sledding. There would be hundreds of people,at least it felt like the was and everyone had a great time.

    Yea the good old days, when kids could actually play outside. We didn't need special equipment to play hockey, just a stick and a puck, if no one had a puck we'd use a rock or anything we could whack around. Any piece of ice would do. Up the street from where I lived there was some open land across from Narraganset Race Track were water would accumulate just right for playing hockey when it froze over. All the kids in the neighborhood would be there and no parents looking over us. You know what, everyone got along and had a great time. Today kids wouldn't believe you if you told them that when you were a kid you actually skated outside, yea, and there was bumps and cracks on the ice too. 

    I guess things were simpler back then but  my parents and grand parents probably said the same thing when I was growing up. They probably remembered horse drawn sleighs and central heat was space age technology. Technology makes things a lot easier for us today but what have we lost? Quality time with family and friends, kid playing outside with out parents standing guard over them and a chance to score that goal, skating down the ice with all eyes upon you, yea this is your chance to score the winning goal, only to have your skate hit that stick frozen in the ice and you fall on your face and you have no idea where the damn puck went. Oh well, maybe you didn't get to be the hero that day but you made a memory and a great story that you can tell to your grand kids and say, back in the good old day when I was a kid I came that close to scoring the winning goal. Damn, stick.        

   

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In the news, trouble at the north pole and George get a visit.

  In the news, there's trouble at the North Pole. It seems Santa must have gotten a bad batch of magic corn and failed an emission test conducted by the North Pole Division of Reindeer Powered Vehicles.

   Doctor Hermy Shorts the official North Pole veterinarian stated that the test was conducted shortly after Santa  fed the magic corn to the reindeer and they developed a case of flatulence. He stated that it was weird because the gas appeared in different colors and smelled like candy canes.

  The spokesperson for Division of Reindeer Powered Vehicles stated that another test will be conducted in a few days and if all goes well they should be set to fly Christmas Eve.

 

    In other news, President Bush, at a news conference today stated that last night he was visited by the Christmas spirits, past, present and future and stated that there will be a big change in our strategy in Iraq. He stated that the stay the course policy won't work.

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What happened to Christmas?

       What happened to Christmas? What happened to the time when children would hang their stockings by the fire place and be happy to find a little toy, a piece of fruit or maybe a new pair of mittens on Christmas morning. Families gathered to share the spirit of the day with a meal of dishes brought by family and friends, like Aunt Martha's famous Apple Pie. Where have those day gone?

       Maybe things started to change with the introduction of credit, buy on time. People could go to department stores and buy nicer gifts and pay for it a little at a time. Instead of mittens or small toys, Mom and Dad could give a bicycle. Not that it made the kids any happier but they learned to expect more.

        Today, with the introduction of credit cards, the spirit of Christmas is gone. The Sky's the limit. Big expensive gifts are expected and we'll be paying for years. The big thing this year is a $600 video game system. People wait for days to be first in line to get one because you know how upset the kids will be if it's not under the tree Christmas morning. God forbid they would have to wait a couple of weeks cause you know in January they'll be giving the damn things away.

        You know, it's not just kids you have to buy for. Now we have to buy gifts for all the people we see maybe twice a year because they may decide to show up and what if they do and have a gift for you, probably something some one gave them that they'll never use so they give it to you and how would it look if you don't have something for them?

        Yea, Christmas is the time for giving but how much is too much? Should we expect our friends and relatives to go in debt,spend money they don't have just to give us a present to show that they love us? Why do our kids need these big ticket items like video game systems that cost $600? Maybe a hug and the words I love you is what the everyone really needs,OK, maybe a small gift would nice.

        

          

              

       

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