In the news.

    In the news, At a news conference today President Bush announced that he has asked Santa to head up his surveillance program. The president stated that Santa is the most qualified candidate because he's been doing it for hundreds of year. Just listen to the song, Santa Claus is Coming to Town. He sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake, he knows if you've been bad or good. He's the perfect guy for the job.

   When the North Pole was contacted they had confirmed that Santa had been asked but said he has not made a decision as of yet but he will make an announcement after the holidays.

    In other news, the Christmas Tree Shop has announced the they will be adding an Adult Video theaters to their stores to draw husbands of female shoppers to their stores. A spokesperson for the Christmas Tree Shop stated that they've had a lot of complaints from wives stating that their husbands don't want to take them to the store because there is absolutely nothing of interest to them in the stores.

     According to the spokesperson for the store the addition of the theater was a great success when tested in Iowa. Mrs Berta Schmaltz, a customer at the store stated that since the theater was installed she can't keep her husband home. He even sneaks there on his lunch hour. She stated that she gets to shop as long as she wants and the sex is great when they get home, in fact on more than on occasion  they've even had sex right there in the parking lot out side of the store. 

    The spokesperson for the store stated that all the store should have theaters installed by the summer when business is slow. 

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