In the news, police crack down.

     In the new, Across the country state and local police officers have been busy arresting people at gas stations oncharges of solicitation of sex. According to the authorities people are getting pumped at the pumps by big oil companies which is against the law in most states.

     A spokesperson stated that the crack down came when gas prices closed in on three dollars a gallon. He stated that people are still do 90 mph on the highways and are showing no signs of conservation so the must be enjoying the sex.

     MS Helen Phrump, who was arrested at the Fast Fred's on route 44 in Smithfield stated she was Innocent. She says that on Tuesday morning on the way to work she was running low on gas and stopped to put in ten dollars worth, that's all she could afford because she had to feed her children that day,when she put the nozzle in the tank the police pulled up and arrested her. She admitted that as she put the nozzle in the tank that she thought, the oil companies were really screwing her but that's as far as she went, although she did pay the cashier. 

     The Smithfield police issued a statement that MS Phrump was issued a warning and released and told to buy her gas in North Providence where it is legal to get pumped at the pumps.  

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In the news, President reveals secret identity.

     In the news, President Bush,at a news conference, has revealed that he is the super hero know as the DECIDER, putting to rest any speculations surrounding the true identity of the super hero that make all the decisions concerning our country.

     For years rumors about the identity of the person known as the Decider swarmed the back halls of the nations capitol. Over the years many names have been considered. Names like Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, Barney Fife, George Carlins, Henry Kissinger. Finally the mystery has been solved.

     It has been learned that Hasbro Co., the makers of G.I. Joe is considering producing a super hero figure in the form of George Bush which will be dressed in a plain Grey suit with cowboy boots and will speak in half sentences when the string is pulled. It will say things like,Mission Accomplished, Major combat is over, Things are getting better and we will stay the coarse. Proceeds from the sales will go toward the ,Put George Bushe's Face on Mt Rushmore fund.     

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WELCOME, PEACHES

    PEACHES HAS ARRIVED, ON THURSDAY, APRIL 13TH, AT 2:30AM WEIGHING A HEFTY 7LBS 5OZ. MOTHER AND DAUGHTER ARE DOING JUST FINE.

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In the news,Meaning of of the word FORCE according to George.Disney special ingredient.

    In the news,President Bush, while student teaching at John Hopkins University stated that the word force in the case of Irans nuclear program could mean anything from Diplomacy to we'll blow your ass of the face of the earth.

   When asked about the statement Professor Sherman Glick stated, What do you expect from a man who refuses to use the word mistake. He's not the brightest guy in the world. We just let him teach here to get him out of the White house and keep him out of trouble. We'll just ask our students to disregard his definition of the word FORCE.

    In other news, The Disney Corp. today admitted they put drugs into the water at Disney World to put a new meaning to the words MAGIC KINGDOM. This information was released after a federal investigation looking into why Disney charges $4.00 for a bottle of water.Disney refused to divulge what is on their Fries.

 

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Hi from San Francisco.

       HI, from San Francisco. We're out here waiting for Jenny to have her baby. We've been here a week and nothing yet.,not even one contraction. Maybe she's waiting till George Bush is out of office. I can't say Iblame her

      So what's George been up to? I see he got caught leaking classified information, before the Iraq war. I guess  people were beginning to question his reasoning for going to war so he used his(PRESIDENT AL POWERS) to declassify some documents to get some much needed support, not that he wouldn't have gone to war without it but it makes thing much easier if the war turns into a big mess, then you can say I had your support. You had the same information I had.

      Oh well, enough of that. I was in the market the other day and I see Coke has come out with a new high caffeine drink called Coca Cola Blak. What's with all these drinks? Is caffeine the legal drug of the future? I know they've been putting caffeine in every thing from diet pills to soda for years but now they have raised the level of caffeine and even kids can buy it.NOT GOOD!!!!! The stuff is like liquid speed 

     Places like Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts have coffee named  TURBO, coffee with a shot of Expresso in it. If you need that much caffeene GET HELP!!!!!!!!!  These people are messing with your health and getting rich.

          

           

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WHO'S THE LOOSER

    Who won the war? We've been in Iraq over 3 years and they still have no government. Where is the oil money that was surpose to pay for their reconstruction? We've lost over 2,000 people and our president says it will be up to the next president to decide when our troops can come home.

  Sadam may be on trail but he must be laughing at us every day to see the mess George Bush got us into. He know that everyday we are there the weaker our country gets. How long can we keep spending 2 billion dollars a month  before we go bankrupt? We have the biggest defiect in our history and forign countries are buying our debt and the new budget cuts most social program to helppay for this war, so who really wins?

   You know that Iran is taking advantage of the situation too. They know that we can not fight another war, we don't have the man power or the money and they know that Europe will never surport a war. Why do you think they are developing Nuclear Wepons and testing missles.They are just waiting for us to give up in Iraq or do something stupid like bombing some of their Nuclear facillities and they'll hit Isreal and move right into Iraq. Who's going to stop them?

    So who really won, George Bush looks more like a looser every day.     

  

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