Savings?

      The governor wants to eliminate 1,000 state jobs but has he really thought things out? One of the most important thing is the state pension fund, that's right. Who going to make up the money these thousand state employees contribute every pay day? Even if it's only 100 dollars a pay day that 100,000 every two weeks times 26 pay days, If my figures are right that 2,600,000 dollars. Now add the interest that money will make when it's invested by the pension fund and look at the effect it will have on the all ready stretched fund that the state is committed to.

      Who is going to do the work that these workers are doing? You still have to pay someone to do it, so what are you really saving? If your really interested in saving money start at the top  where the real money is, Administrators, directors and their assistants and leave the working people alone. 

     

         

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Another day in the life of a backyard mechanic.

         The other day I had to put an exhaust pipe on my wife's car and as usual things go wrong right from the start. I went to the parts store and he tells me the damn thing costs $113.00 for a $50 car but I needed the car so I said OK, let have it. The guy goes in the back and comes out with this pipe that's 8 feet long. Yea, what the hell do I do with that? Any way I take the thing home with all the clamps and I get out my ramps and saws all, wrenches, hammer, and the rest of the stuff I'm going to need. I just love crawling under my vehicles in the drive way.

        Getting the old one off went pretty easy cause all I had to do was cut the old pipe off and it came right out. Yea, this ain't too bad, hell I'll be done in half an hour. Right. Not quite. I drag out my brand new 8ft pipe and proceed to get it under the car. Now one end has to go over the rear axle, no problem. I tried every thing. I even jacked the back of the car up to give me more room.No good. After about an hours I decide to cut the pipe in two but now I'll need a piece to put it back together so off I go to the parts store, Yea,got just what you need right here. great,only 6 bucks.OK and home I go.

        When I get home I drag my new pipe out from under the car and cut it in two. Lets try my new 6 dollar piece, God @##$@, it's the wrong size, son of a !@#$. Back to the store I go. This time I do the smart thing and take the pipe with me. The guy was busy so I just look thru the rack myself. After trying about 25 or so I hit the right one, Yea. now we're cooking. Home I go again with hope of finishing soon.

       Home once more I proceed to get my now 4ft pipe under the car try to get it installed only now the pieces welded to the pipe that go into the hangers don't line up. OK drag the pipe out again and get out my persuader, that a piece of inch and a half pipe about 3 feet long that I use to do jobs where nothing else works, and proceed to bend the hanger brackets, a very precision operation. That should do it . Under the car I go again.

      Lets slip it over the end of the catalytic converter, hey that went good now hook up the hangers, great fit good. Things are looking up. Now get the other piece of pipe slip it over the rear axle, that was easy enough. Damn gota bend this bracket too. Drag it back out and with a little adjustment with my handy persuader we're in business. Back under I go. Great, fits right in, hook up the hanger, yea,the end is in sight. Now I can get the pipe in the right position and tighten up the clamps. OK, now all I have to do is to put the muffler on the end. I know that fits cause I tried it on before I started. Yep,  just slip the muffler and bracket on and hook the bracket on, Oh man the hanger is right on top of the muffler, gota get my hand way up there, God d@#$, I think I got it. Yup , it's on, quick tighten the clamp. Yea, all done. No problem, that was easy. Look at all the money I saved. I think Ihave enough left for a six pack. Just another day in the life of a back yard mechanic..     

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In the news

      In the news, things went wrong when doctors ran into trouble during the presidents colonoscopy. It seems that the doctors didn't know where to put the scope. A spokesperson at Walter Reed Hospital stated that because the president is a total ass the doctors had trouble placing the scope. They finally decided that they would try both ends. Nothing was found and the presidents test was considered normal.

      In other news, because of the increased production of methanol, a product made from corn, driving up the cost of milk the government is offering a one million dollar reward to anyone who can develop an alternitive to milk.

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The Church of the Heavenly Bodies.

       Would you like to loose those unwanted pounds while working your way to heaven, then the Church of the Heavenly Bodies is for you. Yes, unlike other churches, the church of the Heavenly Bodies does not use prayer as a way to have sins forgiven but believes  physical exercise is the way to the pearly gates.

       The Reverend Harry Back, pastor of the church, states that parishioners are required to walk at least two mile a day and physical exercise is given as a price to be paid to have sins forgiven. For example, a simple sin such as swearing may be forgiven for fifty sit ups but a serious sin like adultery would take one thousand push ups and a twenty mile run. He states that unlike prayer physical exercise leaves an impression and results can be seen in a short period of time letting the sinner know god has accepted the price paid and the sin has been forgiven. 

      If you would like to become a member of the Church of the Heavenly Bodies go to

www. heavenly bodies.com for more imformation. There is a $200 fee which can be paid by Visa or Master Card. So register to day and get started on road to the promise land while getting physical fit.

        

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4th of July.

     Well I see Obama has 37 million in campaign contributions and Hilliary has 27 million, maybe the question we should be asking is who are all these generous people that contributed all this cash and why.

     What has happened to the country where anyone can be president? Today it takes money, that's MONEY and lots of it. Think you could be president? What have you got to offer, not to the people of the United States but to the special interest groups like pharmaceutical companies, oil companies and the like, yea, the big guys. These are the guys making decisions on the things that are important to you like health care and gas prices. When our elected officials let pharmaceutical companies write the medicare bill, setting the rule of engagement on drug prices there's big problems with the way our country operates. 

     Who's making money on the war in Iraq? Lets see,we sent our troops to war and nobody realized how poorly equipped they were but like Dick said we go with the military we have. Since then we have provided them with so much equipment that when they put it all on the can hardly walk and the Humvee's, at about $100,000 a piece, that were suppose to protect them from road bombs don't work so now we just put a rush on an order for about 20,000 new and improved models, even though the Democrats want to start pulling our troops out with in a year. Who's making the money, special interest groups. Do you think we're there to spread democracy? Yea, American style.

    So Happy Independence Day America. home of the brave where nothing is free. I have to get to the store now to get my American flag, that was made in China, so I can put it on my car that was made in Japan, before they're all gone. 

    If I sound a little unpatriotic, George Bush made me this way. 

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