In the news

      In the news, things went wrong when doctors ran into trouble during the presidents colonoscopy. It seems that the doctors didn't know where to put the scope. A spokesperson at Walter Reed Hospital stated that because the president is a total ass the doctors had trouble placing the scope. They finally decided that they would try both ends. Nothing was found and the presidents test was considered normal.

      In other news, because of the increased production of methanol, a product made from corn, driving up the cost of milk the government is offering a one million dollar reward to anyone who can develop an alternitive to milk.

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