POOPSI

   In the news, the makers of Ex Lax and Pepsi Cola have teamed up to come out with a new laxative called Poopsi  Colon Cleaner,  guaranteed to move even the biggest clog. The product was tested on Harvey Tightass who has made medical history by not having a B.M. 6 months after eating a bag of cement on a five dollar bet.

   Mr Tightass reported that after one glass of Poopsi things started working real fast. Almost too fast. On the way to the men's room he knocked over a Nun, two old guys with canes and a baby carriage but once there all went well except the toilet was blown apart by chunks of flying concrete.

  The Poopsi spokesperson stated that Mr Tightass will be featured on the commericals to be aired in December and as a special introductory offer a free pair of counterfict Nike running shoes with each bottle to be worn for those quick trips to the bathroom.

    In other news, President Bush anounced to day his plan to ease the cost of heating oil. He stated that he plan to introduce a bill to the house next week which will cut the use of heating oil in half. He stated that his bill will rearrange the calender so the coldest month will come in the summer when it's warm and the cost of oil is low and some warm months will come in the winter when the cost of oil is high.

      If the President get his way Christmas next year could come in July.

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