Home land security warning

     In the news, a heavy cloud of Methane gas hung over Rhode Island today as Rhode Islanders celebrated St. Patrick's Day. The Department of Homeland Security issued a warning and baned the use of any open flames in or near any Irish establishments. A spokesperson stated that mixing cabbage and beer in the human body creates a volitile condition know as Mulligan's Revenge.

     Authorities reported that there were a number of small explosions reported around the city of Providence where patrons of Irish pubs had the backs of their pants blown out while passing  tables with a lighted candles. Most suffered no injuried except for minor burns to their buttucks.  

     Authorities also stated that another problem exist later on tonight when the once a year Irish people try to drive home after a day of partying so give them plenty of room and be careful if your going to be on the road tonight.  

      

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