Yesterday morning while getting my paper I noticed that my neighbor had put his trash out so I figured it must be trash day. While waiting for my wife to come out to the car I figured why not put my trash out as well. Well as it turns out it wasn't trash day after all. Now my problem is what do I do with the five minutes I save today by putting my trash out yesterday. This is quite a problem cause there not much you can do in five minutes and sex if definitely out of the question. I'm fast but not that fast.          So now that we've ruled out sex what else can I do in five minutes? I could play the minute waltz five times if I knew how to play an instrument.I could go out and check the mail but all we get is bills. I know maybe I can put the trash out a day early every week and save up all those five minutes and till I get enough time to take a cruise or something, that would be cool.          You know what I think I just used up my five minutes writing this E mail.OH WELL,  it was nice sharing them with you. May be next week we can do something special like take a walk around the yard to swat May Fly's.

You'd of been proud of me.

You'd of been proud of me. Yesterday I went to the bank and as I was approaching the door a guy was getting into his car and I noticed some thing green blow by from the direction of his car. Well being the good guy that I am I grab it saw that it was a five dollar bill and asked, I this yours?, handed it to the guy, who looked at me like I had two heads, as I walked into the bank. I don't know if it was his or not cause he was gone by the time I came but I hope he appreciated my good deed and used the money for something good. I gota admit though I acted a little fast cause after I said to myself , are you nuts, that was five bucks, then I said that should get me a few points with the big guy and maybe he won't bust my #@# when I'm fixing my car, WRONG!!!! After working on my brakes for three hours they were still messed up. Maybe he was trying to tell me, ARE YOU CRAZY THAT WAS FIVE BUCKS I GAVE YOU. I wish he'd of given me some sign that it was for me, I could of had dinner at Toco Bell

My wife and I just watched on of these sit com's and the only laughter came from the TV. Which brings a question to mind. Was the program really funny and I'm just too lazy to laugh or did the program really suck. I don't think I'm too lazy to laugh, I mean I laugh at things all the time. Did you ever see a turtle yawn, that's funny or did you ever see one of these kid, with the crouch of his pants down around his knees, walking like a Penguin, that's funny. So I guess I'm not too lazy to laugh and these shows really suck.            Now that we got that straight let look at what's really going on. Every night there are millions of people, who pay for cable TV, watching programs that really suck and the TV does the laughing for them which make them think they just watched some thing funny even though they didn't laugh but They heard some one laugh so it must have been funny. GOT IT? Now that's funny!!          Any ways. how did we get to where we are in the world of TV watching. I think it started back it time before remote controls when if the program wasn't funny dad would say Bobby get up and change the channel. Then came remote control and it's in Bobby's hand so they came up with the laugh track to make Bobby think the program is funny.A little subliminal message, because Bobby's got the remote in his hot little hand and can change the channel with a push of a button and he's not afraid to use it. Ask my wife. I drive her crazy. She once told me, you know, we just watched television for two hours and didn't see any thing. NOW THAT'S FUNNY.       So next time your watching and the only thing laughing is the television, CHANGE THE DAMN CHANNEL if enough of us do it maybe they'll put something funny on. Well I'm going to check out my turtle,Alex, maybe he'll do something to make me laugh.

Just bitching

Well Obama is settling in and has already done some things that even George Bush would never had tried like canning the CEO of General Motors. Can he really do that? I mean GM is a private company, right? How can our government force out the CEO of a private company and no one says anything? Not even the shareholders, what's left to them. I would think there would have been a big uproar from the world of big business. Who's next? Frank Purdue?           Not only did he Can the CEO but he also said if GM declares bankruptcy our government will back it's warranties. Can't beat that, your new car warranties are going to be backed by our government who's EIGHT TRILLION DOLLARS IN DEBT.Makes me want to run out and buy a Chevy.          Lets see what else, he going to pull our troops out of Iraq, that's good but he's sending them to Afghanistan. YA, you know the place that kicked the crap out of Russia, with a little help from America. The place where we trained and supplied AL QUIDA, THE SAME PEOPLE WE'RE GOING AFTER. You think Russia might like to return the favor?         OH YA, in a speech over in Europe he called America ARROGANT. Can you imagine that? America,arrogant? The nerve of him.I mean just because we run around the world starting wars, getting Colon, who names their kid Colon?, Powell to lie to the UN on our reason to go to war and now we're escalating the fighting in Afghanistan, who I'm sure want us there because we're dumping money in there for training and supplying weapons that some day they'll probably use on us. But look on the bright side, we're spreading democracy in the Middle East, where they've been fighting for thousands of years.        I gota end here, I mean he's only been in office about a hundred day. Maybe it'll get better. KEEP YOU FINGERS CROSSED. and any thing else you can cross without hurting yourself.